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Posts Tagged ‘Piers Akerman’

I’ve been in two minds about whether to write this post. On the one hand, it’s a pretty amusing story and highlights just how absurd one can be while collecting what I imagine is a decent paycheque from a major media outlet. On the other hand, it’s so obvious that it barely needs to be written about. I don’t even know what has tipped me toward publishing this post, but now that we’re started I’ll go ahead and state my point.

Piers Akerman appears to be foaming at the mouth.

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Now that I have written that headline, I don’t need to provide any information that backs it up or even relates to the topic. Instead, I can spend some time talking about how wonderful an entirely different person is. What’s not to like about Stephanie Rice?

And then I can throw in a few sentences smearing the ostensible topic of my column, mentioning a few scandals that he has had (or is rumoured to have had) some association with. Like the sexual harassment of colleagues; the drug use; the claims of assault. And then I can go back to talking about how wonderful Stephanie Rice is. She has the face of an angel and the heart of a lion. And she can swim. Through the water. It’s amazing.

And then I can wait for people to comment and answer with a smarmy response that insults their intelligence (or perhaps their political affiliation) without actually addressing the issue they raised. For instance, if someone suggests that an African-American preacher or many in his congregation know their ancestors were forced into slavery, I can mock Barack Obama. But if anyone says anything slightly rude or hostile in response to my column, I can denounce it as gutter crawling crap.

Yep, it’s a good life being a total moron who gets paid for writing this nonsense.

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Piers speaks in tongues

Not sure how long this will last, but Akerman’s blog appears to be b0rken – he’s channeling Caroline Overington.

UPDATE: Here’s a sample:

Reading Piers’s column itself, he and Bolt are going to have to jelly-wrestle to resolve their dispute – Piers is blaming Labor for the destruction of the Murray-Darling, while Andy says everything’s fine and we’re getting as much rain as we have in the past.

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Piers Akerman notes that the Uniting Church has purchased the Kings Cross building in which its Medically Supervised Injecting Centre operates:

It quietly paid about $7.1 million for 66 Darlinghurst Rd – the building occupied by the shooting gallery – seven months ago and settled in double-quick time.

The price seems to be a record for the area which has had a decline in property sales and prices seriously affected because of the presence of the junkies attracted to the shooting gallery.

As one local told me yesterday: “Prices here are badly affected. One nearby property around the $5.5 million mark has been to auction twice and failed to sell because of the junkies who hang out for drugs near here.”

The same person, a strong supporter of the Cross, said other areas were booming with two new banks and a Hungry Jacks franchise all being renovated.

Keeping the unfortunate people who suffer from substance abuse and addiction safe and alive, and providing them access to treatment referrals, can’t be acceptable when it jeopardises hard-working Australians’ right to sell their property for millions of dollars.

Here’s an outrageous suggestion – if the usage of the safe injecting centre is so great that it is increasing the concentration of drug users in the surrounding area, wouldn’t that suggest that the best solution is to implement more of these centres at other locations?

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The Garnaut Climate Change Review’s Draft Report was released yesterday. I’m still working my way through it and am holding off on reading others’ thoughts about it or solidifying my own opinion until I’m done.

But some others – the usual suspects, in fact – don’t need to bother with that. Needless to say, Andrew Bolt has been posting a steady stream of posts on issues related to climate change and emissions trading – despite showing that he is grossly incompetent in checking facts. I tried reading some of the comments threads on his site but gave up – seeing the same tired, flawed criticisms from commenters who obviously did not even watch Garnaut’s address at the National Press Club, let alone taking the time to read the report.

Meanwhile, Piers Akerman does one of his typical hatchet pieces, slinging mud at every Labor politician whose name he can fit into the column (he even manages to work Belinda Neal into a column on Garnaut) and hoping that his readers will be so mesmerised by his florid prose that they won’t notice he provides no evidence to back up his insults.

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Satan 07

Kevin Rudd will turn us all into demons.

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Piers is on a hat-trick

Fresh from this morning’s substance-free assault on Kevin Rudd’s character, Piers Akerman has filed another column attacking Rudd, this time decrying the quality of Rudd’s statement about the commencement of the election campaign. It appears that this is a column from the future – presumably it will appear in tomorrow’s Telegraph:

KEVIN Rudd had the opportunity to make his case for a change of government yesterday and came off looking like he was auditioning for a role on Young Talent Time.

Of course, Piers managed to throw in a bit of Howard cheerleading to break up the character assassination of Rudd:

Howard’s posture and his ability to answer the toughest questions the Canberra press gallery could come up with at noon on a Sunday reminded poll-watchers that, yes, he is experienced, and, yes, he takes responsibility for his unpopular decisions.

In answering one question, he said he hoped that the unemployment rate would sink to the “threes”.

Given that it is currently riding in the unprecedented low “fours”, that may be one of Rudd’s too-distant bridges – but it is a goal worth noting.

So, what’s wrong with Kevin this evening?

Rudd, on the other hand, said his new leadership would be all about “working families”.

He likes “working families”. By one count he used the phrase a dozen times.

But what does he actually mean by the term? Where are the “non-working families” who have apparently been attracting all the Government’s attention to the exclusion of Rudd’s “working families”?

“Rudd’s working families”? Piers, here’s a historical note:

JOHN HOWARD: Working families in Australia have never been better off.

And it’s all downhill from there. Piers even manages to blend a comment on Rudd’s nickname of “Dr Death” to build an implied link with not only the “bureaucratic over-administration” of the Queensland health system, but with the other person to carry that moniker, Jayant Patel. Miraculously, Piers managed to go without mentioning the Heiner affair. Just a couple of digs at the unions, some jibes about “lethal bureaucracy” and Rudd’s lack of management experience, and Piers is done – based on his assessment of Rudd, I don’t even think we need to have an election. There is only one man capable of leading Australia, while his opponent is an incompetent killer of projects, trees and hospital patients.

Let’s see what Piers can dig up for the next column.

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